one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days
i’d like to formally apologise to anyone i’ve disappointed with my terrible friendship skills
sometimes before i pour out a full glass of coke or dr pepper or whatever i’ll fill the glass like a fifth of the way and then stand in my kitchen pretending it’s whiskey or something. then i’ll drink it down in one big gulp and make that grimacey face and pretend i’m thinking of some real deep tortured soul stuff.
oh, the things i do alone in the kitchen could fill a blog.